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The Beautiful Before


Poetry for when the "right words" don't form sentences
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3/21/2018

Nevers & Withouts

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by Heather Carnaghan

My heart has lodged itself
deep in my stomach,

wreaking havoc on other vital organs.

My throat is full,
choked by words I cannot find
and a howl I cannot let escape.

Grief is clawing at my soul
A fierce and frightening beast
that haunts my dreams
and lurks in the shadows
of every waking moment.

Fear surrounds me,
filling  places it never touched before,
of returning to life
of mothering as a ghost,
of all the “nevers” and “withouts”.  



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  • Home
  • Our Story
    • Charlotte's Journey
  • Blog
    • Poetry
  • Grief Resources
    • For the Mother
    • For the Father/Partner
    • For the sibling
    • For the Grandparent
    • For Caregivers & Medical Staff
    • How to support a grieving friend
    • Book Club
  • Memorial Planning
    • Components
    • Readings
    • Music
    • Program Templates
    • Other Ways to Remember your baby
    • Financial Assistance
  • Weekend of Kindness
    • Weekend of Kindness 2020 >
      • This Year's Projects
      • This Year's Gear
      • This Year's Impact
    • PROJECTS WE'RE PROUD OF
    • JOIN THE KINDNESS CREW
    • A FEW KIND IDEAS
  • Wrapped in Love Project
    • Project Wish List
    • Resources for Sewists
    • Project Gallery
    • Donate a Dress
    • Volunteer to Sew