Your child grieves differently because they
​are mourning a different Kind of loss than yours

 

• The child grieves the loss of the sibling that they may or may not have felt a connection to already.  My two little boys had already started referring to our "family of five" and dreaming up adventures that they would take their new baby sister on.  They had helped to pick out clothing and toys for her and we had practiced holding dolls in the gentle way that they would cuddle her.   They sang lullabies and told jokes to my pregnant belly to see if she would "laugh" back.  They giggled when they felt her kick or hiccup in response.   These two boys were madly in love with their little sister.  
  
  
• Children grieve for the attention of their parents as their parents mourn.  They grieve for the sense of security that was ripped away just as quickly as their sibling.  My son, Jack, asked countless questions about death.  Did Charlotte forget to breath, mommy?  Can our hearts stop if we don't think about it enough, mommy?  He was frightened that he might forget to do something and cause his own death.  They grieve for the fun and joy that is often abruptly absent in the early weeks of grief.   My three year old was too little to understand what had actually happened, but he was intuitive enough to know that everyone around him was suddenly sad.  The squeals of laughter, dance parties, and carefree cuddles that my boys were used to had turned into somber reheated dinners eaten in front of the television and mommy's face constantly streaming tears.​​​