Maternity Leave with No Baby

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MATERNITY LEAVE WITH NO BABY

When I returned home from the hospital, some of the immediate shock of this trauma began to fade, but my body was a constant reminder of my loss. My milk came in quickly since Charlotte was my third child. It was gut wrenching to know that every drop should have been a drop that I fed my baby girl. I didn't want to express the milk because I didn't want to encourage more to come in, but I was scared of causing mastitis if I did nothing. After several days, it got so sore that I reached out to my doctor, friends who were weaning their babies, and countless online articles about drying up milk. Here are the solutions that worked best for me:

Wearing a tight sports bra day and night. The verdict is split on this strategy. About half of the resources I found said that this would help and the other half said that this promote mastitis. My doctor was one of the folks who was in favor of it, so I took her advice. I found that the sports bra was helpful in slowing my milk letdown and the tightness was actually comfortable (in a constant-hug, stay-grounded sort of way).
Express small amounts of milk if you need relief. I was worried that this would encourage my body to make more milk, so I only expressed tiny amounts when I was especially sore. I think that this helped me avoid clogged ducts by moving the milk just a bit.
Taking Sudafed to help dry up the milk. This had the added benefit of also drying up my sinuses after so much crying.
Icing my chest. I made an ice pack by putting 2 cups of liquid laundry soap into a gallon sized ziplock and freezing it overnight. The soap doesn't freeze into a solid block, so the ice pack would mold to fit my chest. I literally stuck it inside of my sports bra for relief the first week.
Keep your chest away from let-down-inducing heat. Heat from a warm shower, a heating pad, or even proximity to a fireplace triggered milk let down for me. This meant facing away from the hot stream of water as I showered and not taking baths until I wasn't engorged anymore.
Cabbage Leaves. I read about lining your bra with cabbage leaves to sooth engorged breasts and absorb dripping milk. This seemed ridiculous, but I was desperate and had a head of cabbage in my fridge. I was amazed at how well this worked. The leaves were nice and cool from being in the fridge (ahhhh) and they really did absorb the milk that was dripping before it wet my bra or shirt. My son told me that I smelled like a salad, so wear these if only for their comedic effect. Several mothers I have met in stillbirth support groups have also suggested "Cabocream" for both pain and drying of the milk. While I didn't use it myself, it might be worth a try since it is made with cabbage extract.
Peppermint or Sage Teas. This was another natural remedy that many sources suggested. I'm not certain that it had any effect on my milk supply, however, because I have always been a heavy mint tea drinker. It is worth a try though because it keeps you hydrated, is calming, and tastes pretty darn good. Moms in my stillbirth support groups have also suggested "No More Milk Tea" by Angel Baby, Earth Mama or "No Flow tea" by Pink Stork.

OTHER OPTIONS
Some mothers choose not to dry up their milk, but rather to pump and donate it instead. It can be a generous gift that honors your baby by feeding another baby in need. If this interests you, you can find out more on the site for Human Milk Banking Association of Northern America. This is the non-profit organization that provides breast milk to babies in need (due to prematurity, formula intolerance, adoption, etc.). This is the only source of donated breast milk that many hospitals will agree to use as it is pasteurized, lab tested, and kept adequately frozen.